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Humor from Great Minds

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

- Norman Wisdom


One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Edgar Watson Howe


A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

Doug Larson


A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie!

Eric Bolton


We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller


Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Victor Borge


Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

W.C. Fields


Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers


Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

Mickey Rooney


Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

Erica Jong


Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard


Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Wendell Johnson